There are three reasons why you would do something that someone wanted you to do:
- Fear: You are scared of the person ordering you or the repercussions of not following the order.
- Respect: You respect the person requesting you and you want to make him happy.
- Likeability: You like the person inspiring you and you genuinely want to do it.
Notice how you move from Order, to Request to Inspiration when you move from Fear, to respect, to likability.
And then you've genuinely inspired someone, you realize that the only way to make smart people do something is by making them genuinely "want" to do it.
Orders loaded with fear of repercussions work, but only for a short term and often with devastating side effects that leave deep scars.The Take-away?
If you want to become likeable, start inspiring someone; If you genuinely want to inspire someone, start by becoming likeable. Jerks not allowed; acting like one won't help either.